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What is the pettiest reasons you've heard that ended a relationship?

Frequently Asked(self.AskMen)

all 2987 comments

CharacterNo1337

4.4k points

6 days ago

This was during the height of Twilight (the movies) My brother told me he had a friend who had gotten dumped becuase "he wasn't enough like Edward". Damn

RockBronzeman

801 points

6 days ago

Jesus

ermabanned

987 points

6 days ago

ermabanned

Male

987 points

6 days ago

No. That one was a zombie.

She wanted a vampire.

singleDADSlife

142 points

6 days ago

Are you telling me his skin doesn't sparkle in the sun?

Theron3206

32 points

6 days ago

Were they both 14?

wittbrij

2.6k points

6 days ago

wittbrij

2.6k points

6 days ago

She thought Alaska was an island. Even showed maps to support, the ones where Alaska is shown by Mexico and Hawaii.

MadamSurri

869 points

6 days ago

MadamSurri

869 points

6 days ago

My mom, with a completely straight face, once asked my father why Hawaii was so hot, and Alaska so cold. He just kind of looked at her, so she said "they're so close together, how are they so different?"

She believes how they're shown on the map you describe is how they really are. We still have a hard time convincing her they aren't right next to each other, nor off the coast of the southern states. She's an amusing one.

Jeramy_Jones

168 points

6 days ago*

I bet she’s never even heard of Canada, after all there’s just ocean above the 49th parallel.

unbalanced_checkbook

678 points

6 days ago

Crazy how straight that one side of an island is.

quadruple_negative87

361 points

6 days ago

That’s the saw cut from when the US bought it from Russia. Then they towed it to the current location.

LowEndOperative

216 points

6 days ago

LowEndOperative

I don't know, but I'll answer anyway

216 points

6 days ago

Back in late ‘80–early ‘81 I was the one who dumped a girl for what she said during a conversation: she came from a violence-prone family and for some reason fighting was a frequent topic of conversation…I was more lover than fighter at the time, but I did ask her what she thought if someone gave me a beat down over her…she said “well, it’s customary to walk away with the winner of the fight”. We were done weeks later.

Ridgetop18

73 points

5 days ago

weeks later

When you got your asskicked and she left with the winner?

mmmm_babes

21 points

5 days ago

Definitely dodged a bullet there

AlanRocksJen

4k points

6 days ago

My ex wifes sister was dumped because she farted in front of her boyfriend... And he didn't think women did/should do things like that..

G_man252

2.2k points

6 days ago

G_man252

2.2k points

6 days ago

He was just waiting for an even mild excuse lol

TokyoKazama

1.5k points

6 days ago

TokyoKazama

1.5k points

6 days ago

Probably fed her Mexican food and laxatives and just waited with a microphone near her ass cheeks

DrinkinRye

342 points

6 days ago

DrinkinRye

342 points

6 days ago

Sounds like someone subscribed to my OnlyFarts

smurfe

42 points

6 days ago

smurfe

Male

42 points

6 days ago

UnluckyLukette

207 points

6 days ago

Oh my word lol

life_sentencer

339 points

6 days ago

Did she date my partner? First time I (accidentally farted) his reaction was annoying. Even his brother told him he was dumb.

Guy will openly rip ass and warn me to cover my nose, but if I end up farting in my sleep I hear about it.

BishoxX

131 points

6 days ago

BishoxX

131 points

6 days ago

That guy seems so petty lol, hope the rest od him is worth it

Nugbuddy

161 points

6 days ago

Nugbuddy

161 points

6 days ago

Lol i know someone similar to this! He grew up in a very "proper, and old fashioned" household, he even told us he mom would use the restroom anytime she needed to fart. Now, he'd never leave his wife over this, be there are times he said he's be repulsed, and gagged at the act, which his wife actually finds hilarious. But overall, they seem to have a good dynamic, and accept each others quirks.

Duke_Silver_lives

275 points

6 days ago

She dodged a bullet. Every SO I had, when she farted in front of me, I would chuckle. Hard to believe but something like that signifies intimacy and trust.

wmjsn

110 points

6 days ago

wmjsn

110 points

6 days ago

If my wife farts I just ask which end it came out of. She'll tell me, but I always give her the side eye just to make her squirm.

DaveTheDrummer802

149 points

6 days ago

My wife farts like a warthog

Olddude275

129 points

6 days ago

Olddude275

129 points

6 days ago

Are we talking Pumba Lion King Warthog, or Halo, M12 Force Application Light Reconnaissance Vehicle Warthog?

DaveTheDrummer802

94 points

6 days ago

Whichever one farts loudly and all the time, she's that one.

urine-monkey

52 points

6 days ago

I laughed, but I did have a girlfriend who threatened to dump me for eating the chicken mole at a Mexican restaurant we used to go to.

Quercas

1k points

6 days ago

Quercas

1k points

6 days ago

I got dumped because she didn’t want to date a younger guy. She was two days older than me.

She is now happily married to her wife, I think it might have gone a little deeper.

doodlebug001

251 points

5 days ago

The adjective was a red herring

RubAggressive3520

176 points

5 days ago

The “younger” was silent

East-Chain5387

1.7k points

6 days ago

Someone told me she looked like Count Dracula from hotel Transylvania and then I could never unsee it

sock_templar

418 points

6 days ago

Did she say blablabla too?

Sir_Fog

71 points

6 days ago

Sir_Fog

71 points

6 days ago

She did NOT say blablabla!

Bored_Schoolgirl

304 points

6 days ago

Bored_Schoolgirl

Female

304 points

6 days ago

That’s brutal but I lol’d

buzzmaria

207 points

6 days ago

buzzmaria

207 points

6 days ago

On the issue of things that can’t be unseen, I had a friend who said that whenever he was trying to get over a breakup or a rejection, he was imagining the girl was bald, and that worked every time…

talkingtoasterq

3.9k points

6 days ago

In high school this chick broke up with me because “we had our whole lives ahead of us.” We were in the 10th grade. We dated again and the second reason she broke up with me was: “what if I got cancer? I wouldn’t want you to stick around.” I was actually concerned thinking she was sick but nah she just wanted to break up in a dramatic way.

austinmiles

2k points

6 days ago

I was broken up with by a girl when I was 15. I don’t even know why exactly. I still haven’t gotten a really solid reason.

Then we started hanging out a couple years later when I was a Junior and she was a senior and we stayed together and got married and it’s been 21 years.

So now it’s time for me to break up with her over the phone for no reason.

FBIaltacct

686 points

6 days ago

FBIaltacct

686 points

6 days ago

I broke up with my girlfriend when i was 16 because i figured we were too young to go full life planning. Then right after i turned 21 and we got back in touch. Just hit 13 years of marriage and 3 kids.

In your professional opinion should i wait until the 20 year mark or ride it out to my death bed to call her and let her know we need to have a talk?

Iwantbooks

133 points

5 days ago

Iwantbooks

133 points

5 days ago

Dammit, I did it wrong. We started dating at 16 and here we are 14 years later, and two kids. When do we break up!? Did I miss the deadline?

fivepennytwammer

21 points

5 days ago

The best time to break up is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.

Or is that planting trees?

denmicent

321 points

6 days ago

denmicent

321 points

6 days ago

That’s right king. Play the long game.

_romcomzom_

160 points

6 days ago

_romcomzom_

160 points

6 days ago

Who breaks up over phones these days? You just gotta ghost, and get with the times, man. 🥲

PowerfulVictory

69 points

6 days ago

Boomers am i right

heimbachae

282 points

6 days ago

heimbachae

282 points

6 days ago

Now I wanna know what happens in Breakup 3: Turtles in Time!!!!

NakedChicksLongDicks

147 points

6 days ago

Breakup: Tokyo Drift

BuoyantAmoeba

320 points

6 days ago

This one made me chuckle...

Stanky_Cheese444

856 points

6 days ago*

She thought I was serious when I said in her friends group chat that Toph from Avatar was the “baddest bitch in all the land”

We were talking about strongest avatar characters and she thought I was “sexually attracted” to TOPH for saying that and was about to block me?? Dodged a bullet actually

idropepics

109 points

5 days ago

idropepics

109 points

5 days ago

Her name was TOPH because it sounds like TOUGH ffs

FayrisDraconis

224 points

6 days ago

But you were right

Stanky_Cheese444

96 points

5 days ago

LOL IS SHE NOT THE BADDEST?!

The_Loaf

38 points

5 days ago

The_Loaf

38 points

5 days ago

She defeated THE BOULDER 🤜👊

MaxCrack

31 points

5 days ago

MaxCrack

31 points

5 days ago

Dude best scene in the entire show is when she learns to metal bend and breaks out of the metal cage.

johntheflamer

388 points

6 days ago

Friend of mine was dumped because his girlfriend had a dream that he cheated on her. Despite him being completely loyal (seriously, the man definitely didn’t have time to have an affair between work and his girlfriend), she was just convinced that her dream was a sign that he was cheating irl.

He dodged a major bullet.

day9700

1.9k points

6 days ago

day9700

1.9k points

6 days ago

I saw a similar question on Reddit, asking women what petty reasons they had for breaking up with someone.

One woman wrote "he wished the Rock happy birthday on Twitter." For some reason, this made me howl and if the person that posted that is reading this right now, shout out to you....you've given me a good giggle many times since then...every time I think about it I chuckle.

ScrunchieEnthusiast

1.1k points

6 days ago

I read in a parenting sub not long ago about a woman whose husband doesn’t understand shade. He’d leave his baby in the stroller in direct sunlight, but thought since it was under a tree that was sufficient. I still think about that from time to time, and wonder how they’re doing.

Elly_Higgenbottom

649 points

6 days ago

I thought you meant throwing shade, or sarcasm.

That is so much worse.

OfficerLovesWell

209 points

6 days ago

Yo this baby fuckin sucks.

.... I'm breaking up with you

kn33

153 points

6 days ago

kn33

Male

153 points

6 days ago

That's... so incredibly dumb...

ScrunchieEnthusiast

98 points

6 days ago

Right? She was legitimately concerned, and didn’t really know where to go from there.

corticalization

29 points

5 days ago

I remember another one of these subs that was just for everyone (maybe on ask Reddit). Anyway, this guy broke up with a girl because when she spoke her mouth made a perfect trapezoid shape. I think about that one a lot

Extra-Ordinary-Joe

1.1k points

6 days ago

I forgot her last name. This was in the mid 90s. We had been dating 6 months and I couldn't remember her last name. I'm not sure if I ever knew it. I'm sure I could have gone through her purse or something, but I figured if I didn't care then I should probably break it off.

santa_veronica

318 points

6 days ago

Did it rhyme with a body part?

Extra-Ordinary-Joe

139 points

6 days ago

Actually, yes.

turkturkeIton

175 points

6 days ago

Mulva?

DoctorJiveTurkey

98 points

5 days ago

Gipple?

santa_veronica

97 points

5 days ago

Besticles.

thevutcher

2.6k points

6 days ago

thevutcher

2.6k points

6 days ago

She wouldn't stop saying "cold" slaw. I warned her. She thought I was kidding.

rollem78

854 points

6 days ago

rollem78

854 points

6 days ago

My wife of 14 years says deserd instead of desert and andchiladas instead of enchiladas. I just laugh at her lol

ScarCliff27

430 points

6 days ago

ScarCliff27

430 points

6 days ago

My ex would always say efford instead of effort not the reason we broke up but definitely helped me move on lol

Phormitago

357 points

6 days ago

Phormitago

357 points

6 days ago

made it effordless eh?

squaredistrict2213

93 points

6 days ago

It’s like people who say Melk or Wesconsin. I don’t need that in my life.

PuttyGod

290 points

6 days ago

PuttyGod

290 points

6 days ago

My girlfriend says "pitchers" instead of "pictures." Not a full-blown breakup issue YET, but she keeps doing it...

hippiechick725

42 points

6 days ago

Are you from Philly by any chance?

HorseRenoiro

36 points

5 days ago

Nah cause here pitchers are full of wooder

ZotDragon

27 points

6 days ago

ZotDragon

27 points

6 days ago

You made the right decision.

Tinfoilhat14

137 points

6 days ago

Tinfoilhat14

Female

137 points

6 days ago

Cool wHip

jaztub-rero

55 points

6 days ago

Why are you saying it like that?

FOXDuneRider

78 points

6 days ago

Hwip!

Neonjoe94

4.2k points

6 days ago*

Neonjoe94

4.2k points

6 days ago*

We had problems splitting holidays with families. I wanted to rotate - one Christmas with mine one with hers or at a minimum split the days in half and change mornings every year. She said that on her turn, we would go with her family and on my turn, she would go with her family and I could go alone with mine - “ if you don’t like that then leave”

I left

ThaVolt

1.7k points

6 days ago

ThaVolt

1.7k points

6 days ago

“ if you don’t like that then leave”

I left

This is the only way to answer ultimatums. Good for you, homie!

caepe

571 points

6 days ago

caepe

571 points

6 days ago

Wouldn't say it was petty of you though. It seems she was a selfish person and you potentially dodged a toxic relationship

Jeramy_Jones

304 points

6 days ago

Not petty of him, petty of her. IMO she was the one who ended the relationship.

HardbassPro

243 points

6 days ago

HardbassPro

243 points

6 days ago

What the fuck.

Sounds like such a brat.

ScrunchieEnthusiast

331 points

6 days ago

That’s an interesting way to compromise..

demonardvark

3.3k points

6 days ago

demonardvark

3.3k points

6 days ago

overheard a girl in college break up with her boyfriend over farmville. he wasn't maximizing his farm and his layout was shit and he wouldn't let her change it. he was being unreasonable and she couldn't be with an unreasonable man. pretty sure bro dodged a bullet.

Oakheart-

1.3k points

6 days ago

Oakheart-

1.3k points

6 days ago

Lolol playing stardew valley with my wife who is not very good at games is fun for me still. I can satisfy my min max urge while she chops down some trees and waters the plants and keeps the dogs water bowl full. Same with Lego starwars she’s happy to just hop around on a batha while I search for all the kyber bricks. She’s super happy when she actually gets one though and it’s really cute.

jenniejennjenn

894 points

6 days ago

Wait wtf you have to refill the dogs water bowl?????? I'm on year 5 and haven't refilled it once???? Oh my GOD???

DullZooKeeper

191 points

6 days ago

You monster...

Rajion

111 points

6 days ago

Rajion

Male

111 points

6 days ago

The dogs happiness is lower if you don't fill the water bowl. It's like how animal happiness and this item quality grows if you pet them everyday.

EchoPrivate

277 points

6 days ago

EchoPrivate

277 points

6 days ago

Ikr..! We rarely fill it and was wondering the same thing. Now we know it's unnecessary at least, if you haven't had any issues.

FrogBoglin

280 points

6 days ago

FrogBoglin

280 points

6 days ago

Don't tell that dudes wife her bowl filling has been for nothing

carpe__natem

124 points

6 days ago

carpe__natem

trans guy

124 points

6 days ago

It makes the dog like you more but that’s about it lol

_HingleMcCringle

120 points

6 days ago

It actually does have a purpose; you get a point towards Grandpa's rating at the beginning of Year 3. When you get the message that says: [Pet name] loves [Player name]! then you get the point.

BJntheRV

159 points

6 days ago

BJntheRV

Female

159 points

6 days ago

You don't have to, but you can and it makes the dog happy and builds hearts with it.

Grooveman94

138 points

6 days ago

Grooveman94

138 points

6 days ago

The only game I can get my fiancee to play is Lego Star Wars and she's so happy when you get to an area where the storm troopers will come out endlessly and she just shoots them and talks trash. It's hilarious. If her character has to do any jumping or puzzling, I always have to do it. But killing bad guys? Oh yeah, she's a pro all of a sudden lol

Ryndal

87 points

6 days ago

Ryndal

87 points

6 days ago

My wife got so addicted to it that now she's afraid to start paying it again together because of our child. She was surprised when she started playing when I left for work and hadn't eaten or went to the toilet until I came home eleven hours later!

ThaVolt

62 points

6 days ago

ThaVolt

62 points

6 days ago

he wasn't maximizing his farm and his layout

I hate people that are ineffective, too!

nalgononas

761 points

6 days ago

nalgononas

761 points

6 days ago

A friend of mine had been dating this girl for a few months and everything was going fantastic as far as I could tell.

He has recently gotten into working out. He likes to lift and goes pretty hard. Just a week ago, he hit leg day and was tearing up the squat rack. After a heavy squat session, he had light bruising on his upper shoulders where the bar rests when you squat.

Well apparently his gf saw those bruises and thought they were hickies, and therefore jumped to the conclusion that he was cheating on her. She freaked out and ended the relationship cold Turkey. No room for explanation, no attempt to listen, just done and blocked.

My friend is still baffled.

onegrayhair

88 points

6 days ago

I had a girlfriend break up with me after she found out my initials were S.A.D.

willbeonekenobi

390 points

6 days ago

I was once dumped because I got cancer. A few years after I got the all clear she came running back and said that she didn't want to watch me die or help me during the worst part of my life and she had always loved me and should have supported.

I told her that I have moved on to another gf and if she really loved me then she must build a time machine and go back in time to tell her younger self not to break up with me.

ThatMadFlow

163 points

5 days ago

ThatMadFlow

163 points

5 days ago

Holy shit the audacity to come back.

jpsreddit85

739 points

6 days ago

jpsreddit85

739 points

6 days ago

She had these very weird pointy white shoes that were somewhat fashionable at the time but I thought they just made her look like a court jester and I just lost all attraction.

dzkrf[S]

312 points

6 days ago

dzkrf[S]

312 points

6 days ago

I remember those. I decided they were for killing bugs in the corners of a room.

FlaxenArt

131 points

6 days ago

FlaxenArt

131 points

6 days ago

Ha. I had a guy break up with me because he hated a pair of boots I had … said they looked like elephant legs and couldn’t get it out of his head.

He tried to get me back a couple years later. I told him I still had the boots and had no intention of getting rid of them.

herdingnerds

1.1k points

6 days ago

herdingnerds

Female

1.1k points

6 days ago

I split up with my husband over $5 worth of gas.

We'd been headed toward a separation, but he picked me and some work colleagues up from the airport. He had been driving my car all week and the gas light was on. He stopped at a 7-11 and took a remarkably short time at the pump.

Me: "That was fast"

Him: "I only put $5 in"

Me: "$5??!!"

Him: "I only put $5 in. You can fill it up in the morning."

WTF

zadeon9

560 points

6 days ago

zadeon9

560 points

6 days ago

Talk about gas lighting.

JabariTeenageRiot

54 points

5 days ago

Light gassing.

stellaflora

103 points

6 days ago

stellaflora

103 points

6 days ago

THE AUDACITY

herdingnerds

190 points

6 days ago

herdingnerds

Female

190 points

6 days ago

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

$5 kept my incredibly inefficient, 1994 Taurus SHO going for about 24 miles in 1998. It was 20 miles from the airport to home.

Guy was a POS

smashteapot

174 points

6 days ago

smashteapot

174 points

6 days ago

Wow, the shamelessness of it! He’d be fuckin’ walking home. That’s incredibly disrespectful of him.

Nice-Violinist-6395

23 points

5 days ago

this thread is reassuring me of just how solid and awesome my relationship is lol

Lalocal4life

329 points

6 days ago

I live in los angeles. I frequently meet couples going through a divorce because the guy does NOT want a pool and the woman REALLY wants a pool.

DaddyDaddyTwo

74 points

5 days ago

The guy doesn't want either an assload of extra work (pool maintenance is a lot of effort and very expensive), or he doesn't want her to get a pool boy.

Lt_Scott_Summer

713 points

6 days ago

I was on a training exercise with my buddies fiancé (military). Her and I were on patrol doing security around our building when we started talking about tattoos. My buddy got a girls initials tattooed across his chest (in big ass font) when he was like 20. He and that girl broke up and then he got that tattoo covered up pretty well later on and then met his fiance. Well she was telling me how much she liked his chest tattoo and I mentioned that the guy did a phenomenal job on the cover up. She freaked the fuck out and ended their engagement over it. Over the course of like 2 weeks he begged her to give him a second chance and she did... Only if he stopped being friends with me..

She was nuts and their marriage only lasted not even a year. He messaged me shortly after and apologized for ending our friendship. I thought it was funny.

SweetRandomID

435 points

6 days ago

SweetRandomID

Male

435 points

6 days ago

Military marriages are either dumpster fire from the start, or are the strongest fucking unions known to man.

deadlygaming11

135 points

6 days ago

deadlygaming11

Male

135 points

6 days ago

Yeah, they always usually start the same.

The strongest start with people who have been dating for years and are married or quite close to it and one leaving for the military is just a long job for them.

The dumpster fires are usually from people who feel like they should have a relationship going into the military or they want something to return to after or during time off but that results in these people going with the first person they find which rarely ends well.

Atrain61910

197 points

6 days ago

Atrain61910

197 points

6 days ago

The girl I was flirting with pretty heavily told me that God took the feelings away from her. So there’s that…

JRBehr

40 points

6 days ago

JRBehr

40 points

6 days ago

Lol. I had a friend who got dumped by a girl in high school because “God told her to in a dream”

probablynotaskrull

406 points

6 days ago

A disagreement over the best of the three starting Pokémon. My wife’s an educator and the bf/gf were in the first grade.

ttouran

63 points

6 days ago

ttouran

63 points

6 days ago

I shave my own head ..the girl I was dating broke up with me because she did not like that I did that myself...

therealandy04

52 points

6 days ago

I have a friend who ended his relationship of 5 months just because he couldn’t be bothered to work through the first issue to come up.

soft_waves

1.5k points

6 days ago

soft_waves

surfs naked (except for my board shorts)

1.5k points

6 days ago

my brother left his gf back in 2005 because she wouldn't shave her pubic hair. from what i understand, she wasn't even really hairy. he demanded she shave it all off, she said no because she liked it how it was. he dropped her then and there.

back in 2018, he broke up with his gf of 10 months because she wouldn't suck his dick every single morning before work after they moved in together.

he'd literally get out of the shower and go in the bedroom and say "come here and do it."

they'd been living together for 3 weeks and he noped the fuck out, just took his shit and left after she refused to do it 3 days in a row.

he's a class act, yeah

Oakheart-

465 points

6 days ago

Oakheart-

465 points

6 days ago

Dang dude he still single? Sounds like he’s a really difficult person to deal with.

BadKittydotexe

217 points

6 days ago

If he somehow isn’t he will be soon.

AppropriateAd2063

312 points

6 days ago

Had an ex who expected a bj every morning. And sulked when it didn’t happen. He made the breakup easy

smashteapot

158 points

6 days ago

smashteapot

158 points

6 days ago

Jesus, who has the time?

RealStreetJesus

105 points

6 days ago

What the fuck man…that’s some entitled ass behavior.

vonderschmerzen

347 points

6 days ago

Sounds like someone who was raised on a steady diet of unrealistic porn.

riotsquadgaming2

242 points

6 days ago

he'd literally get out of the shower and go in the bedroom and say "come here and do it."

at least he showered first

unluckypig

255 points

6 days ago

unluckypig

255 points

6 days ago

I got dumped by an ex because her friends didn't like that their boyfriends and I got on (a few of the guys got dropped at the same time too).

We still meet up and hang out so something good came of it.

Firm_Performance3361

112 points

6 days ago

I genuinely don’t understand. Isn’t that a goldmine? You have a great group of friends and all of your SO’s get along? That seems like something you’d be worried about losing! lol. weird.

unluckypig

42 points

6 days ago

It made no sense to us either. God knows what they were thinking

[deleted]

1.1k points

6 days ago*

[deleted]

1.1k points

6 days ago*

[deleted]

Armoured_Sour_Cream

660 points

6 days ago

That's a proper asshole right there.

Preferences or not, why the hell would he date and remain together with someone if small tits were dealbreaker material?

What a bellend.

I_love_misery

170 points

6 days ago

He most likely dated her for the excitement of being with a foreigner but had no intention of committing to one.

[deleted]

105 points

6 days ago

[deleted]

105 points

6 days ago

[deleted]

c_rizzle53

61 points

6 days ago

Welp there's the reason lol

Maephia

223 points

6 days ago

Maephia

223 points

6 days ago

I hope he is an ex friend

[deleted]

172 points

6 days ago

[deleted]

172 points

6 days ago

[deleted]

eyemthinking

55 points

6 days ago

I was gonna break up with my first girlfriend because she still believed in Santa. But she broke up with me first because her mom said we had to.

Exotic_Imagination95

720 points

6 days ago

I'm deathly allergic to dogs. Told her no dogs. She got one anyway. May be petty to some.... I'm badly allergic...

tglad88

283 points

6 days ago

tglad88

283 points

6 days ago

That’s not petty at all that’s health concern and the fact that she didn’t have a dog but got one anyway after you mentioned allergies just shows you dodged a bullet.

mimiiarr

372 points

6 days ago

mimiiarr

Female

372 points

6 days ago

I ghosted a hot guy because he had the grammatical and spelling abilities of a six year old

jusmithfkme

297 points

6 days ago

jusmithfkme

297 points

6 days ago

y U treet us lyk dat

RyanMFoley74

582 points

6 days ago

RyanMFoley74

Male

582 points

6 days ago

Well, you know, we were having dinner the other night, and she's got this strangest habit. She eats her peas one at a time. You've never seen anything like it. It takes her an hour to finish them. I mean, we've had dinner other times. I've seen her eat Corn Niblets. But she scooped them.

soft_waves

150 points

6 days ago

soft_waves

surfs naked (except for my board shorts)

150 points

6 days ago

she scooped the niblets?

RyanMFoley74

132 points

6 days ago

RyanMFoley74

Male

132 points

6 days ago

Yes. That's what was so vexing.

Stoicnuts1234

213 points

6 days ago*

Lol reminds me of when I pulled up to my buddy's place as his ex was peeling off his driveway at insane speed and she stuck her head out the window and screamed :"That's why your ass is hairy now and I won't eat it again, asshole!". My facial reaction would've gone viral as an "Okay..." meme, if it was recorded.

He wasn't laughing at first, but after a few years, it's one of those inside jokes that gets us all. We still have so many unanswered questions but also don't want the answers.

spaceyleira

898 points

6 days ago*

I do Jiu Jitsu, competitively at a national level. When he partied, I trained and I never had an issue with it. But apparently “you are too driven” was a thing so.. ok?

Edit: Also the fact I wasn’t the jealous type was a reason to break up haha

Diablo165

168 points

6 days ago

Diablo165

♂ Masterbaker

168 points

6 days ago

I hope you find the right person! I got into bjj partway through my relationship, and am at the gym daily.

She not only accepts my training regimen, but supports it and even asks questions, even though I know rambling in rubber guard at her gives her no idea what we’re doing.

AceOfHeartz77

32 points

6 days ago

Tom Hardy?

KozimaPain

142 points

6 days ago

KozimaPain

142 points

6 days ago

I think "you are too driven" could also mean "you don't have enough time for me/the type of relationship I'm looking for"

multiversesimulation

457 points

6 days ago

Back in college 4 girls all lived together so me and all of their respective bfs were always over there. It was like the Jersey Shore house lol at any given time at least one of the couples was fighting.

Anyways, not a break up but one of the dudes made his gf leave her own house because she farted.

melasuarus

831 points

6 days ago

melasuarus

831 points

6 days ago

I was dumped for a girl with bigger tits. I'm a C cup and she was a DD. 🤷‍♀️ literally the reason he gave me.

Sontarcha

407 points

6 days ago

Sontarcha

407 points

6 days ago

Upgrades people, Upgrades!

/jk

This mustve sucked bad to hear. How did you deal with this?

melasuarus

1k points

6 days ago

Moved on to a guy with a bigger dick. 🤷‍♀️

LSTNYER

183 points

6 days ago

LSTNYER

183 points

6 days ago

I wasn’t there for her when she had her mental breakdown…..while I was out of state for work, and had no idea.

tjarod11

119 points

6 days ago

tjarod11

119 points

6 days ago

This jock I knew was pretty well endowed, but his girlfriend had seen too much porn and broke up because his dick was too small.

Historical_Reality77

15 points

5 days ago

It makes a lot of sense for younger people. Once you get around and experience more though it's not as important

iggybdawg

227 points

6 days ago

iggybdawg

227 points

6 days ago

She didn't like how he loaded the dishwasher, so she quiet dumped him.

ahappybaby

172 points

6 days ago

ahappybaby

172 points

6 days ago

She got outta the psych ward for suicidal ideation during a manic episode and a few days later broke up with me because I wouldn’t: kill myself with her or use my life savings to move her to Oregon or let her use my car while shitfaced. She was a gem.

TheImpossiblePoster

1.2k points

6 days ago

I once spent an hour and a half on the phone convincing a girl not to break up with me so that I could break up with her, which I did at the end of that phone call.

I had my reasons but the technique was kind of petty lol.

[deleted]

232 points

6 days ago

[deleted]

232 points

6 days ago

City boys up!

TheLongistGame

145 points

6 days ago

Seinfeld plot

TheLongistGame

362 points

6 days ago

I was like 16 but there was a more attractive girl interested in me and I figured I should go for the hottest girl I could get. Paid a hefty price for that one...

renthefox

258 points

6 days ago

renthefox

258 points

6 days ago

Did this. One-year GF, so good to me. Crush showed interest, dumped GF to pursue greatness. .. Crush dumped me the next day by pretending I didn't exist...

I deserved that lesson.

AthenaSholen

61 points

5 days ago

There’s a saying in Spanish:

Mas vale pájaro en mano que cien volando.

A bird in your hand is more valuable than a hundred flying.

I think it applies here.

ohbabyitsababy

258 points

6 days ago

I broke up with someone because their room was dirty. Mind you, I tried my best with helping and even went as far as to fold his laundry and clean his entire house one day. A week later we broke up because it became a mess again.

AjaysLullaby

122 points

6 days ago

That's a pretty valid reason imo. You wouldn't want to deal with someone who isn't very clean in a more serious relationship. That would be hard to coexist with. I know I couldn't do it.

[deleted]

427 points

6 days ago*

[deleted]

427 points

6 days ago*

I had this FWB for months, she was great. Came over every time, nice bod, came suuuuper easy with PIV.

One night she came over while I was on shrooms. Business as usual, or so I thought.

We switch to doggy & I saw the bottom of her feet were BLACK. She lived in her brothers unfinished basement so like ? I don’t know.

But yeah it was unsettling and we stop communicating shortly after.

multiversesimulation

202 points

6 days ago

Especially on shrooms that had to be even more jarring than it usually would be.

TheLongistGame

105 points

6 days ago

I would've told her to go wash her feet in the bathroom and then resumed like nothing happened

Riztrain

29 points

6 days ago

Riztrain

Male

29 points

6 days ago

My ex broke up with her ex because she couldn't stand his dialect. Norwegian dialects can vary wildly, she was from Drammen, he was from Stavanger, they have a very intense gutteral R sound and she said it was like nails on a blackboard every time he said R, so she actively tried to divert conversations and ask questions that wouldn't naturally contain R words

Dresiden15

30 points

6 days ago

Years ago, my son was in first grade and he "dated" this little girl all through the school year but broke up with her on the last day of school. When I asked him why he said, "She was my girlfriend at school, but schools over"

Paulie___Walnuts

36 points

5 days ago

She looked like Nicholas Cage when she removed her makeup. Hard to unsee this

atlas794

89 points

6 days ago

atlas794

Sup Bud?

89 points

6 days ago

She wanted to be poly. I didn’t.

NecraRequiem79

317 points

6 days ago

Couldn't be arsed to walk 10 minutes into town to go on a cinema date.

holo_charzard

219 points

6 days ago

Agreed to be her bf during her bday party so she wouldn't feel bad on her special day. Cut the cake, met the parents, bday slow dance and everything.

Broke up the next day.

Doesn't really fit the question I knw...just...just had that one tucked away for a while guys....

Ziebelgeuse

23 points

6 days ago

This happened to one of my closest friends. He liked a picture of his cousin(female) and his gf felt betrayed/cheated on.

Bullshit.

Star_Rover

207 points

6 days ago

Star_Rover

207 points

6 days ago

Didn't want to swim in a local river with her and didn't give her my shirt to swim in (I was sick at the time, didn't want to get sicker). Felt surreal at the moment, like we were 12. A few weeks later turns out she was banging her ex while having feelings for another ex, and she couldn't find a good way to break up with me. Some people are weird, man. A simple "I don't think we're a good fit for each other" would've sufficed.

bubonis

562 points

6 days ago

bubonis

Male

562 points

6 days ago

One of my bitchcunt sisters turned down TWO marriage proposals from the same guy because she “couldn’t marry someone who made less money than her”.

Sister is nearly 60, never married.

Guy married another woman, has nice house, children, etc

Young_Hxppxe

226 points

6 days ago

Young_Hxppxe

Male

226 points

6 days ago

Glad, he dogded that bullet. Does your sister complain about single life or is she content?

bubonis

153 points

6 days ago

bubonis

Male

153 points

6 days ago

Don’t know (and don’t care). Other than my mother passing away a few years back I haven’t seen or spoken with her in any meaningful way in at least 15 years.

zuck_my_butt

19 points

6 days ago

My brother once dumped a girl because he didn't like the way she said the word "milk". It sounded like "melk", and that was a deal breaker for him.

youssefuo

20 points

6 days ago

youssefuo

20 points

6 days ago

I broke up with my girlfriend because she was flirting with another boy who liked her and said she was gonna meet up with him. 2 days later she comes back and says it was just a lie to make me feel bad and angry and be jealous (i apparently deserved that?). She wanted to come back together but i just said no. That was too childish from her

Marlytess

20 points

6 days ago

Marlytess

20 points

6 days ago

My brother was dumped when he was like 12 because the girl got sick after kissing him. She saw it as a sign from the heavens that their relationship was doomed...😅

oooohyeababy

128 points

6 days ago

he called my ass a rump and wouldn’t stop it grossed me out so much i had to end it.

budsc

19 points

6 days ago

budsc

19 points

6 days ago

I had a comical voice I’d use to pretend her stomach was talking. She hated it but I thought it was funny. She gave me an ultimatum: the voice or her. I picked the voice.

VagueUsernameHere

57 points

6 days ago

My dad’s first wife told the marriage counselor that she couldn’t stand the wet spot on my dad’s back and how he squeezed out his toothpaste. I think it had more to do with the guy she was fucking, but what do I know?

funkyjauntyfoodhat

24 points

5 days ago

The wet spot?

abatoire

192 points

6 days ago

abatoire

192 points

6 days ago

I went travelling and she wanted to go with me. I said no as I agreed with my Dad that at 21 it was better to do it alone and mature with the experience. No intent of cheating or anything. She made me a bear and I took phones with it and sent to her. Used Internet cafes to email her and such.

Anyway, about a week into the 7 I ate a tarantula and posed with it on my tongue. (it was pretty gross, though the legs were like hairy twitlets (in case anyone is curious)). Anyway, she as a vegetarian was offended and basically broke it off after that.

I was heart broken and there is a gap on pictures with my travelling bear. I get back to the UK and find out that her family convinced her to do online dating the day I left. She had already hooked up with a older chap and so basically, it was an excuse.

Internal69

79 points

6 days ago

Chain of superficial aspects like.

She didn't like the shirts he wore.

He didn't like her dogs.

Legitimate_Buy_6628

137 points

6 days ago

he repeatedly called me a bitch so i said “bitch we’re done”

HolidayHowlett

16 points

6 days ago

Girlfriend was going to boyfriend’s house. He asks her to pick up a specific flavor of vitamin water.

She buys the wrong one.

This set off a massive argument which ended the relationship.

He still gets shit for breaking up with his girlfriend over a bottle of water. Mainly from me.

earthwormzug

17 points

6 days ago

When I was 16 Broke up with a girl cause she was an awful driver, and I didn’t have a license so I couldn’t offer to drive. Shit was terrifying. She called me threatening to crash her car if we didn’t get back together which I still find mildly funny cause like…yeah that’s why I can’t stick around hahah. She started dating a 24 year old security dude at her work like a week later. I saw her at chilis a year or two ago so I think she probably figured out how to drive by now cause there was no way she would have survived up to this point. I mean y’all…like monster truck show type driving.

mardybumbum

103 points

6 days ago

mardybumbum

103 points

6 days ago

My brother ghosted a girl cos her fart was too disgusting

Minute_Cartoonist509

375 points

6 days ago

There was a woman in my beer league sports social circle that would start seeing a guy and let her bush grow out.

The first time they hooked up, if he said something negative about it or requested that she shave it, she immediately dumped him.

But, otherwise, she kept it shaved. Used it as a test of a guy with the logic that "if he thinks he can tell me what to do with my body, I'm not dating him."

Grand-Expression-493

143 points

6 days ago*

You're too nice

I don't deserve you

I might be a lesbian

I want to pursue spirituality and you get in the way

I found a guy who puts me on a pedestal and makes me feel special

My parents think I should marry you but I am not ready or sure if I want to

I started dating this guy and it's going really well. (Married him soon after and had his kid)

All from the same girl. Last 3 when I thought we were back together. What a roller coaster this one was!