submitted 8 days ago byVisqo
all 4941 comments
7 days ago
7 days ago
That’s… counterintuitive. If you never leave the house, the assassin always knows where to find you…
7 days ago
That's the first place I'd consider going, but I'm not an assassin.
Source: I'm not an assassin, but that's where'd I'd look first
Source checks out.
Source: I checked out the source.
I don't want anyone to think I'm an assassin.....but of course, an assassin would probably say they're not an assassin too.
So pull a 4D 5G chess move and say you are an assassin. A real assassin would never say that.
Sounds like something an assassin would say….
I’m the opposite of an assassin. I’m a dickdickout
The fact that this thread went from Hunter Biden to assassins to dickdickout to Harambe the gorilla is something I hope future historians have to analyse.
"Dickdickout being linked to Harambe the gorilla, the gorilla whose death and subsequent canonization we covered in back in chapter 26, is a reference to the cultural movement commonly referred to by it's primary slogan, 'dicks out for Harambe', and is a prime example of how this era of human history was uncharacteristically intertwined and intermingled. This is speculated to be the result of the rapid rise of the internet and social media. Due to the sudden rise of instant communication and widespread social networks, seemingly insignificant events became seared into the cultural consciousness and then blended into a language comprised mostly of references to references to yet more references."
Your assumption that there's going to be a future, let alone one containing historians, is amusing.
It's misdirection, he's actually broadcasting from the back of a moving Uhaul truck furnished to look exactly like his living room to throw the liberal ninjas off his trail
Misdirection is what his eyes are doing
Sure but I bet that this guys has his eye on the door at all times. And the other eye on the other door.
8 days ago
8 days ago
He could do himself a favor and back up two more feet from his camera. He looks like a Busta Rhymes video.
Hard to assassinate someone who can watch two doors at the same time
He looks like a fishman!
One eye huntin' for possum, the other huntin' for squirrel
"Shit" said the elite group of US government assassins. "He's still inside his house."
"Goddmanit! Doors, our only weakness." the head of Seal Team Five said.
TIL: the US government's elite assassins are vampires.
Wrong! They’re Green Lantern Corp. Wood foils them at every turn.
I thought that was yellow
in the original comics Allen Scotts weakness was wood then it changed to yellow with GLC
“Sir, I have an idea” said the new recruit. “Let’s go in through the windows”. That recruit was shot on the spot
"Any of the rest of you wanna suggest dumb shit like the windows? Maybe you think we can make Christmas come early and go down the god damn chimney?"
If the movie Ghost dog taught me anything, it's that when your intended assassination target is in the bathroom, you go into the basement and disconnect the drain from the standpipe, and wait below the drain for your chance to shoot your rifle bullets up the drain pipe.
That movie was completely accurate and I will not sit here and allow you to besmirch it’s good name! Have at thee! In all seriousness I haven’t seen it since I was a teenager and had forgotten that scene.
"Maybe we could build a giant rabbit, and hide inside?"
Suppose we were to build a large wooden badger
We don't need no stinking badgers
He is so afraid he’s broadcasting his very location…big brain or just a hoax?
That’s obviously a fake background anyone can get on any zoom call. This man is a renowned counter-intelligence mastermind.
Why would you need a fake background if you are already saying where you are?
Maybe during laundry day?
Why bother with ground units when we can just send birds to blow up his house and watch him?
Using the same training as Uvalde police, I see.
He feels safe there because he can keep an eye on the front and back doors at the same time
Belittling his appearance is super trash, but im gonna be a dirty hypocrite and say the writers in this reality have definitely given up, because this guy looks like the exact stereotype for wackjob government conspiracy theorist. What the fuck.
Tbf dude is legally blind
If he’s legally blind how could he tell what was on the laptop?
Some people are legally blind while not totally blind
A very good question that many people have asked.
He knows because he put it there.
Or who it was that actually gave it to him.
Oh, wait. He’s already told police that he can’t be sure it was actually Hunter Biden who brought it in.
I don’t understand how someone can just “turn over” a laptop in a criminal case and have it be admissible. I’ve worked in law enforcement where many “helpful citizens” try to give me “evidence”.
The chain of custody on that thing is so blown to shit at this point that there's no way it would be admissible.
My favorite part is where people like Gaetz claim there’s child porn all over it but mysteriously held onto it forever and never turned it over to federal authorities…
Just needed to make a backup copy to keep it safe
They are still trying to figure out how.
Why would Gaetz turn over child porn? That's like asking an alcoholic to share their booze.
Gaetz definitely appears in more child porn (as an adult) than was ever on that laptop.
Who do you think loaded the CP onto it?
Funny enough, been hanging around a few who've been super interested in the laptop debacle, and a lot of them thought the same thing.
Then the Twitter Files thing on it dropped, and suddenly it wasn't CP it was the Ukraine dealings that were on the laptop, information mentioned on the original NYT article. Can't remember exact details, something around Biden lying about not having overseas dealings while his kid had dealings with Ukraine in his stead or something similar.
It's funny. Everyone dropped the CP idea because there was something better to attack Biden with. Not because there potentially was proof of the dealings, or CP, or anything. Just... wanted Biden gone. (Note: Brought this up because "this information could have swayed the election!!!" coming from people who believe the election was legit stolen)
...wait, am I getting déjà vu? Not the election theft thing, but... Are we going back into the loop of the out-of-power party just wanting the current in-power out again, then only playing fair(er) when in power? Did we ever leave that cycle?
The war with Russia wasn't happening at the time. They probably thought people would give a bigger fuck about the Ukraine thing after and decided to drop the cp, it doesn't have to be a real thing it just has to spark outrage.
7 days ago*
7 days ago*
Exactly, you can’t take things and try to fit it into an unknown crime. Owning a laptop isn’t a crime and a layperson could not make the determination that there are items of interest contained within.
Edit: in addition, anything deleted would likely involve imaging the drive which would require a search warrant, what judge would approve a search on something that was in possession of a third party for a length of time?
7 days ago*
A conservative one, most likely seated on the bench between 2017-2021
Edited for more accurate dates
Hey now, we all know that you're unfairly excluding Thomas and Alito.
They meant district court judges that were appointed by Trump, not the Supreme Court. Also Roberts is pretty conservative too
Its a lot of overthinking. They hacked his cloud storage, and needed a way to make the images they found politically damaging, hence the re-skinning of the Weiner laptop controversy. Hacking a guys phone (and revealing how they did it) isn't all that "cool" so they came up with the dumbest possible story for the existence of a laptop.
These people are hamfisted and uncreative, and yet the US populace can be lead around like a fucking toddler with candy in front of it. So embarrassing.
How this isn't more in the shared consciousness is beyond me.
They got ahold of some shit and were like "well we can't just say we got it from a hacker" and the rest of history. Their base ate it the fuck up too
Coming back for seconds, thirds, and desserts literally years later - even stronger, despite all "evidence" blown out and nothing to support their claims. Just morons screaming dipshit thoughts in unison.
Well, I tell you one thing, I certainly won't be voting Hunter Biden for president s/
Except in the court of public opinion which is the only court the gop ever shows up to.
It’s the only place their “evidence” is admissible.
I am actually surprised that Hunter Biden is not suing the repair guy. Although most repair places have tou sign a waiver indicating that your data will be accessible to them it does not give them the right to go combing through tour data fishing for things. At a minimum I would be extremely skeptical
of taking my computer to this guy.
I mean by the looks of this guy I am sure he goes through the pictures folder of every device he repairs.
There is a "Macshop" in my town. The people that run it image every device that comes in. Complete copy of all data on the device, and the system state. It makes it easy to restore the device to the way you found it, if things go sideways.
It also raises a few questions about privacy and data integrity and generally what the hell they are doing with it.
That’s why I only use asexual computer repairmen
Most of us in tech don't want to touch your fucking data, lest we get sued out of existence.
Unfortunately, there's way too many people who don't care anymore.
Yea, I'm trying to get as much jobs done as I can so I can make more money. I don't have time to comb through your shit. Your brother in laws cousin that says they can fix your laptop on the other hand...
Isn't he blind?
I could replace his entire job with a perl script. Read up on the story. The dude is a computer illiterate dip shit. He didn't even know how to do an actual forensic image of the disk. Dude runs a computer store doing "data recovery" and never even heard dd in his life, doesn't know what a fucking write blocker is, etc etc. He's just some hicks invalid kid, innocent but dumber than box of fucking rocks. He's dumb that he's a liability to not only himself but those around him. He was running consumer grade windows software to do his "repairs."
The fact that he created corruption issues on the drive due to repeated power loss while working on it tells you everything you need to know. At minimum the drive should have been pulled and put in a dock to copy the first time it shut down. (At least based on the article I saw on it.)
In actual forensics there's pretty strict chain of custody that has to be maintained. The first thing you do is create a bit by bit copy of entire drive. And I mean the entire disk. You don't mount the drive. If it's encrypted you don't unlock it. You don't do anything that would change any data, even metadata. Generally you even use a physical write blocker to just have extra security on that front. Once you have it cloned, you can do work on the clone. This dude has no clue what he's doing. He's running point and click consumer grade windows tools on mounted partitions. He doesn't even have basic jr college IT system administration skills.
Hunter can't sue him because Hunter never actually dropped off his laptop at that repair shop. It's very obviously a bullshit cover story meant to hide the fact that somebody hacked Hunter's laptop and gave the data to a bunch of rightwing political hacks. They copied the data onto a random laptop and lied that Hunted had inexplicably abandoned it at a random repair shop that just so happened to be owned by a conveniently blind Trump cultist without leaving payment or contact info, so they could pretend they acquired the data legally so they could release it without consequences.
That’s assuming he actually took his laptop there, 3000 miles from his home, and just left it indefinitely.
That was my thought as well. Nude pictures of Hunter Biden were posted all over the internet directly as a result of this guy stealing "turning over" the laptop.
Its not. He "turned it over" to Republican campaign operatives, not to anyone in any sort of authority.
So, he stole a man's laptop?
Hunter's cloud storage was hacked, then placed on a laptop alongside some fabricated shit, and that was left with a blind computer repairman.
Ah yes but how many of them involved politicians with an (R) after their name?
sadly the Republicans don't care about that little detail and will probably try to use it as evidence in their kangaroo court!
I'm probably 95% certain no one gives two shits about this guy.
Hey now, he's avoiding the very real threat of assassination by the unbeatable strategy of "Always staying in the same place, all the time, then telling people that's where you're staying on television."
Maybe he’s got the house booby-trapped, a la Home Alone.
He's avoiding eye contact thats for sure.
I’m 95% certain he will see the assassin coming from any direction.
Dude looks like all the women in his bloodline share the same maiden name.
Dude looks like his wandering eye thinks for itself.
That picture was taken with fish eye..
8 days ago
Hey that’s my name too
Whenever he comes out
🎶The people are always very accepting
(but for real, isn’t the lyrics “whenever we go out”…?)
281 330 8004
Will forever remember this number
Strange... I could have sworn Tucker Carlson reported that the laptop was destroyed by a liberal task force sent to stop and kill the people who were delievering the computer directly *to* him on a live airing of his show. Strange that it's popping up again now, it's almost like Mr. Carlson lied to us four years ago in order to boost raitings.
Was that before or after Tucker Carlson got upset that he couldn't fuck a piece of candy because it has boots on now and he's not a candy gay?
Edit: HA! This blew up. Tucker Carlson and his sexual awakening with homosexual M&Ms.
Nono it was candy gay because they removed the sexy candy boots, same thing when they put a mouse in a pants suit instead of a dress. But I do believe it was the same year, yes.
Look, he just wants it to melt in his mouth, not in his hands - why can't you libruls understand that?! These non-sexy M&M's are ruining America!
...and now, a message from Cialis.
It was like the same month if I recall correctly
I kinda wish I could jump to the future and see how history books describe all this.
Oh no, he still fucked the candy, he was just very upset that he didn't enjoy it as much as he could have.
Ok, whether or not the candy got fucked by Tucker Carlson isn't the point here.
The point is that cartoon candy-covered chocolate pieces should be able to change footwear like any other normal candy without being harassed.
I think you're missing the REAL issue here. Tucker Carlson has a cartoon candy foot fetish.
Well he'll definitely see them coming.
A Pacific Ocean sized hole in the Hunter Biden conspiracy is the fact that this man is blind.
Was he blind before or after the incriminating, slam dunk laptop evidence of the Biden conspiracy that Elon heroically discovered, aka the dick pic 🤣🤣🤣
Free speech hero Elon Musk, bravely defending our God given right to checks notes share revenge porn.
If u stay in that space between his eyes, you should be invisible for him.
Only if they’re coming around a corner
Or all of the corners.
One way or another...
“Turned over” is an interesting way of saying illegally gave someone’s property to a bunch of political hacks in order to defame him
Bro. He doesn't even know who gave him that laptop. That's the best part.
And he supposedly gave away many copies. Rudy has said he gave it to the FBI, but then later said he tried to give it to the FBI when they raided his house. Makes you wonder how many copies are floating around and how Rudy, a cyber security expert and former prosecutor, doesn't know about chain of custody. But they want us to just believe the bullshit like their base does. Not happening.
Remember when Hannity was going to show everyone what was on Hunter's laptop. And then his dog ate it (just a touch of hyperbole there).
Remember when Hannity offered to undergo water boarding?
If you remind him of it on Twitter, his white knights will have your account locked.
Bro Hunter Biden was doing so many treasons he needed like a dozen laptops to store them all on!
Well where else would you safely store your treasons??
Cant wait til rudy eats his gun for tRump
Not only does he not know. He didn't get any contact information, no payment information, and didn't have the person sign ANY kind of document attesting to the 'if you don't come back it's mine' rule. Then after he found out it needs repairs he graciously sinks his own money into repairing the laptop without any guarantee he'll ever get paid back. Very, very, suspicious.
Then he basically loses his business, after, ya know, he literally admits to the entire world that he decrypts customers information and takes it as his own, and pretty much sells it. Shocking that people wouldn't react positively to that.
One final side note. The GOP has had access to a copy for years at this point and have been unable to find adequate dirt on Hunter. This is why they are trying to turn it into a case against government overreach and the FBI's inaction. They already know there's nothing there, so they need to make it into conspiracy for their voters.
Most likely his iCloud got hacked. They took all that data and slapped it on a PC and dropped it off at this guys repair shop pretending to be Hunter. The story is insane, but I don't doubt that his iCloud or other Cloud Services, got hacked and bad actors got his data.
That's been my argument from day 1. The first time I heard the story of the mystical laptop found in a blind guys shop a thousand miles from Hunter's home, I was like "oh, a hacked cloud account dumped on a laptop."
It's completely tainted evidence. It makes no sense why they give it so much attention.
It's literally what Rudy was trying to buy when he was shopping for corruption in Ukraine when Trump was impeached.
This guy's first thought was to call Rudy Giuliani?
Yeah, fuck him.
Lie down with dogs.
Bannon had it too. No court in this country would accept it as evidence.
Hey. That's an insult to dogs. I lie down with mine and I'm not a scumbag 😂
I doubt he attempted to call Hunter, which is step 1 if its not puck up on time.
Any case the laptop is s pousoned fruit as it was illegally obtained
Any case the laptop is s pousoned fruit as it was illegally obtained
Even if it was obtained legally, there's no viable chain of custody, so there's no way to verify if the data contained was there from the start or injected by someone in the middle.
Sure, metadata exists, but at least 2 people who had custody are PC/security specialists more than capable of modifying metadata and covering tracks.
Plus, 1 of those people, Rudy, is a vocal supporter and counsel to Trump, giving a clear incentive to plant incriminating evidence on his political opponent (and it was used in his political campaign).
I will die on the hill that nobody (not this dude, not anybody) ever actually had Hunter Biden's physical laptop. Did Hunter get hacked? Most definitely. Did someone launder that hacked information through a physical laptop at some point? Maybe. Did California resident Hunter Biden drop off his laptop at a Delaware repair shop, knowing it was chock full o'nudes and pics of illegal drug use, and then never ever come back for it such that the (blind) computer repair guy was forced to give all his emails to Tucker Carlson or whatever?
No. That never happened.
A rich guy with a broken computer is just going to go buy a new computer.
To be clear. He stole a laptop. Turns out it was Hunter Bidens Laptop. He sold the Infos on that laptop to god knows what kind of people. He is suing others for deformation and is now scared? Man if u act like a piece of shit, u will be treat like one.
How sure are it’s even Hunter Biden’s laptop? Where is it and who has it? There are SO many holes in the story.
Yeah, Some More News did a good video on the whole Hunter Biden thing... unless something has changed in the last few months, I'm not sure we're entirely positive that it was President Joe Biden's son's laptop.
Basically this supposed laptop had usernames and passwords stored on it, and so they used the usernames and passwords to access all his other accounts.
"Hunter Biden's Laptop" is hardly about his laptop and we're not even sure if the laptop is real, or if it's a cover-up story for how they hacked him. "We Illegally Hacked The President's Son" just doesn't have the same ring as "Hunter Biden's Laptop"
Even if there was incriminating evidence on the laptop, the chain of custody is highly questionable and would probably be thrown out in court.
Rudy claimed that there was child porn on the laptop. And also Rudy admitted he had that laptop in his possession for more than 6 months before he told the FBI. So Rudy had child porn, by his own admission, for more than 6 months. Could have done anything with that. And by anything, I mean I've seen the Borat movie and I can guess what Rudy would have done.
Oh we definitely know what Rudy was doing.
The brief investigation they did basically said that, the data is corrupted at this point. Unless the laptop appears somehow which is unlikely.
Using that info is any number of federal crimes too
If someone abandoned the laptop there sure eventually you can claim its abandoned property and erase it to use.
No amount of time gives you permission to hack the data and reuse the login info
The funniest graphic ever is “Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Drunk Laptop Guy”
No matter what, there's no proper "chain of custody" with said evidence. This guy could have done whatever he wanted while it was in his possession, then who he sold it too, then every slimey Republican that has touched it, and whoever else those idiots "consulted".
At this point, any sane person would have "reasonable doubt" that anything found on said laptop would have been put there specifically by Hunter.
The term is “Chain of Custody”
Yep. Not a legal expert but I did get some training in Army NCO school. Basically they told us if we suspected a crime, secure the scene, don't touch stuff, and call the MPs.
Chain of custody, and a computer forensic examination that I doubt it would pass. Plus the whole matter of snooping through a laptop that was in for repair and decided to turn over (sell for cold hard cash) to a political organization for performance politics, because there clearly wasn’t a reason to go through the laptop for legal purposes.
Everything about it reeks of political malfeasance.
IF they had "it" we'd all see it! This is the crux of the matter! There is NO FUCKING way it's real since we haven't seen it or shown what's on it. This is how we know that it's ALL. A. LIE!
Exactly! Remember what Rudy Giuliani’s son said at the impromptu press conference after Rudy’s residence was raided? He claimed the only piece of evidence they didn’t take was the “current president’s son’s” insinuating the laptop. Why not bring it out and show everyone? Why not open it up and show the press right then and there? Oh that’s right because HE DIDN’T FUCKING HAVE IT. Just like all the fraudulent evidence ‘the courts wouldn’t allow’ them to show. Just publish it! Every press outlet in the world would love to have the stolen election evidence.
Even worse is that people believe this shit. They eat it right up.
The funny thing is Giuliani had no authority to hold onto that laptop assuming everything about it is true since he’s not an authority. So that means if there is something illegal on the computer then he made himself an accessory or it could be dismissed since it didn’t go through a clean chain of custody.
If... as they say, IF there was child pornography on that laptop, it should have been immediately turned over to the authorities. Immediately. When I worked for Microsoft in the retail stores as a technician, if we discovered child pornography on a user's laptop, we were to immediately close the laptop, clear the tech room, and call the authorities. No waiting.
To do anything different, such as holding on to the laptop would have been considered possession of said content. By handing it over to Rudy Guilianni, and he doesn't turn it over to authorities, he's now in possession of child pornography.
This is correct, lol. They don’t have shit about anything, it’s almost comical except millions of nuts believe it. Then some of those nuts act accordingly and shoot people, storm the Capitol, etc. That part is not comical.
Yeah, like, shouldn’t he be the one getting sued into oblivion?
Well they were going to assassinate him, but as you can see he not only stays inside like a recluse, he can also see them no matter what angle they come at him from.
Wasnt the initial story also that someone "found" the laptop in the ocean and brought it in to this guy to repair and lo and behold it just happened to be Hunter Biden's laptop? Then the blind repairman said he was able to uncover all this dirt that may or may not have been encrypted.
Upon this discovery he turned it over to the likes of Giuliani who had also been in the Ukraine trying to di up dirt on the Bidens. Pretty convenient. Kinda like finding a bunch of documents just sitting in Bidens garage all of the sudden after the whole stolen documents fiasco with Trump.
I thought the initial story was that Hunter Biden himself dropped his laptop off to be repaired, And the big thing was how could this man know it was Biden that dropped it off if he was blind🤷♀️
Hunter apparently flew from LA to NY to drop off the laptop for repair to a blind guy…. Totally normal…
It's like the MadLibs of political intrigue
So someone hacked some of Hunter Biden's accounts and then came up with a way to try to use the data by placing some genuine files alongside whatever they felt like into a random laptop which they then sold on to morons.
That’s exactly what I think happened too. The hackers could easily have been Russian or Ukrainian, and it’s probably no coincidence that Rudy was sent to Ukraine by Trump to obtain (make up?) dirt on the Bidens. So Rudy brings back a CD with a few hacked real emails and a bunch of make believe data and pictures. Then they pass the CD or copies thereof around claiming it’s an image of what was on the laptop. Even the NYT noticed that some of the files on the so-called image post-dated the time when the laptop was supposedly turned in.
Early on in this conspiracy, there was a supposed photo of the laptop that circulated, as 'proof'--and people noticed that the manufacture date of the hard drive was also after the supposed date that it was handed over to the repairman. A month after.
What's uhhhhh, what's wrong with his face?
He’s blind. I’m not even joking… the guy who claimed to discover secrets on Hunter’s laptop is blind
What kind of repairman is he? I knew a blind piano tuner once.
Me too. His wife drove him around to the clients places. Sadly, she had a stroke and cannot drive now. Guy tuned my mom’s piano for years. Did a fantastic job.
I was hoping for a joke punchline at the end of that story.
I once knew a blind piano tuner. He was very good with most notes, but he never could quite get to C.
That's the best I could come up with for you.
I really thought the entire thing was a joke—like, from the Onion—when I first saw (or some facsimile of) “Blind repair man finds proof of Hunter Biden misconduct on a laptop that was dropped off by a mystery person.”
SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!! You for real!?
I thought only Guy Fieri was allowed to say that.
HOLY FORKING SHIRTBALLS!
He can lose the hat, but he’s gotta keep that face the rest of his life
He keeps one eye on the liberals and one eye on Fox News — at all times
So, let me reiterate his claims:
Edit: Add in item 4.5: The repair guy illegally peruses the customer's data on this laptop, invading someone's privacy (if you actually believe that this laptop was Hunter Biden's), breaking several privacy laws.
Few more fun items in there:
All in all there’s so much that smells about this story it’s the reason the FBI said it was suspect as much as this guy.
Who drops off three (?) water-damaged laptops at a computer repair store (some news reports do not mention that there were 3, others do) and leaves no contact data or credit card information? Does any store in America not collect a credit card prior to doing such repairs?
Any who leaves laptops with incriminating data behind and abandons them at a store?
None of this seems plausible.
What was wrong with the laptop in the first place? Did he ever fix it, where’s the work order.
Is... he a Muppet? He's a Muppet, right?
That whole story stinks.
isn's this guy blind or something how was he even able to fix a laptop anyway?
Asking the big questions.
i read somewhere he is legally blind and yet he somehow fixed a laptop and "seen" something illegal in it or am i missing something?
Legally blind doesn't always mean that someone is 100% blind, cannot see whatsoever, he just meets the criteria for legal blindness
I don't know the exact situation for this fella but being "blind" doesn't necessarily mean you have 0 vision. There are a lot of conditions or just lack of visual acuity that would mean someone is considered to be practically "blind", and not just legally speaking (legally blind).
Many people who have very limited vision will benefit greatly from tools to help blind people (canes, crosswalk chimes, guide dogs, rumble strips, screen readers, etc.)
Pretty sure if the president of the US wanted you dead your house wouldn’t stop them, not that they do.
With those eyes he should be able to see an assassin coming.
He's actually blind
... think of that a blind man is the rights champion for the hunter Biden laptop because he has "seen it himself"
Dude looks like what you’d get if Andrew Tate and Meagan Hall had a baby.
That made me picture the sex tape with the music being the oompha loompa song....
Meanwhile: Jared kushner is taking a bath in Saudi blood money and NOBODY cares
The guy looks like one of the aliens from Men In Black
Translation: Literally everyone forgot about me so I have to stir the pot to be Supply-Side-Jesus-Hero again for another 15 minutes.